Just One Week

Today, I'm tired of the ups and downs of being a parent. I feel like I need a break. Just... a week or so of silence. I just need a week of time when cleaning up my own dishes and folding my own laundry is enough to keep the house clean, and when I can do those things without repeated interference.

For just one week, I want to decide what I want to eat and when, and only have to cook for myself. Maybe I could even go out to eat. I could finally fit in the clothes shopping I keep saying I need to do before it gets warm (maybe that's why it keeps snowing). I could really, fully clean the house instead of doing the same handful of chores over and over again in hopes that they'll keep the place from looking like a disaster and smelling like dog butts. I could sleep through the night. Oh how I'd love to sleep through the night.

I could exercise and not have to share my small workout space with three little girls every time I try. Truth is, I probably wouldn't exercise. I'd probably play games on my iPad and call my mom and talk and catch up on Doctor Who and blog and take a long bath without interruption.

If I had one week to myself, I'd finally go shopping for the frames I need so I can hang the posters in Es room and the paint I need for the wooden letters I bought for the girls. I'd finally get caught up on the laundry and have everything put away. I'd finally finish reading the book I've been trying to read since last July (no kidding).

As it is, I do what I can, when I can. I haven't cleaned the finger prints off of the windows or french doors since we moved in, but I've deodorized the rugs twice in the last month. I haven't dusted this house at all, but I've washed 6 people's laundry at least 16 times (and I'd rather not know how many loads that comes out to) since E was born. I still haven't scrubbed the crayon off of the wall in the girls' closet, but I did just deep clean the refrigerator. Unfortunately, I also find myself mindlessly surfing the internet just trying to feel relaxed and/or entertained. Then, I just feel guilty that I haven't gotten anything useful done.

Every night, I lie in bed and think of things I need to do. Then, every day, I don't get all of them done.

I suppose this is the nature of home schooling, especially when combined with having a 4-month-old cub who needs so much of my attention. I have to believe it will get better.