Giving Thanks

I'm not really invested in this holiday, to be honest. I think it's great to celebrate the Europeans getting along with the natives in 1621, if only we'd have done a better job of that for the rest of our history on this continent.
Modern celebrations, though, are about being thankful, getting your family together, and sharing a meal. I love to cook and bake, but I'm beyond glad I have never had to prepare an entire Thanksgiving meal on my own. My favorite part of this holiday is having an established period of time for which I can reflect on the things I am thankful for. Sometimes, with all of the noise and craziness around here, it's hard to remember those things.

Here is a compilation of the things I chose to reflect on this year for each day of November, right up to Thanksgiving:

November 1 & 2 : I missed day one so we'll start like this: Day 1 and 2: I'm thankful for my twins. Somehow, two wonderful girls fit in there at the same time for 35 weeks and 2 days and were born small but incredibly healthy. They are healthy and happy and clever and beautiful. I'm glad I had them first, so I didn't have any other distractions, and because (for the most part) they're great big sisters. I can't wait to see what they become, and how their bond plays out in their lives.

We have our challenges, and some days they make me furious, but once I have a moment of quiet to collect myself, I always remember how much I love them and how dedicated I am to helping them on their road to being great people. 

Day 3: I am thankful for Maya. She's a handful. She used to be quiet and agreeable to the point that I wondered if she'd ever stand up to her sisters. I'm not sure when it happened, but now she's loud and defiant and ending up with a lot of "sit and calm down" time. I'm pretty sure her ideas and convictions just out-grew her ability to implement them. I love her, and it'll be fun to see how that turns out. :)

Day 4: I'm thankful I'm finally having a boy. I have three awesome girls, I'm excited for a totally new experience. This has been the most difficult 3rd trimester I've experienced and this will probably be the last time I ever want to go through this pregnancy business. So, I'm thrilled to be evening the numbers a bit for David's sake.  

Day 5: I am thankful for David. Up to this point in my life, I think I had expected that all relationships are uncomfortable compromises, and I just needed find someone whose annoying flaws I could learn to accept and compensate for. In the last 15 months, I have learned that relationships are about compromise, but because you want to and it's the right thing to do, not because you need to, just to make the thing work. I love how good he is with the kids and how well we get along. He has shown me what it really means to be loved, respected, and appreciated by a man.

Day 6: I am thankful for my mom. I know I make it seem like I've already thought of almost everything you suggest, but even when I actually have, I still like hearing that you agree with me. And, to be honest, sometimes I haven't... I just act like I have because I want to be as independent as I assume other 25-year-olds are. :P I love you. I promise I don't ever ignore your calls on purpose. I wish we lived closer.

Day 7: I am thankful for my sister. I tried to have other siblings when my dad got remarried, but those kids are weird and broken and didn't make the cut. I have one sister, and she's the only one I want. And she was the only one I needed, growing up. Seriously... sometimes, it was like having a second mom. But that's okay. I was a jerk at times, and I'm sorry. I love you, and I'm glad you cared enough about me to worry about me falling off of the monkey bars and killing myself back then. 

 Day 8: I'm thankful for my friends. I'm a busy person. I have three kids and one on the way, and I don't get out much. Some of you live incredibly far away, anyway. I'm sorry I don't see you often, if at all, but I thank you all for being there for me when I've needed you. I hope you know I'd do the same for you if you needed me. I'm fortunate to have met each one of you.

Day 9: I am thankful for Will. This is my most cathartic post so far. I had to dedicate considerable time to meditating on this one. I am a firm believer in love for all living things, but I can't just leave this at "because he's alive." As many of you already know, Will and I have been separated for quite a while and in the midst of a lengthy divorce process that started with me saying, "I want a divorce" almost two years ago. As you might suspect, he has not made my life easy or enjoyable since then and, at times,  I have been no better.

But if I had never known Will, I wouldn't have any of my girls, I wouldn't have met the Donders family, I wouldn't have gained closure with my dad and step family, and I probably would have avoided an array of trials by fire that taught me invaluable lessons about my integrity, my limits, my weaknesses, and my values. 

The Buddha’s Five Remembrances:
I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.
I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.
Thich Nhat Hanh’s translation

Day 10: Day 10: I'm thankful for children's benadryl. I know this isn't as deep and meaningful as the previous posts, and I'm sorry. But that "cherry-flavored" liquid is the only reason I'm getting any sleep lately. I have sleep problems even when I'm not enormously pregnant, so I'm sure you can imagine. And we don't have any grown-up gel cap benadryl... So "cherry" it is.

Day 11: I am thankful for my health. All things considered, I am a pretty healthy person. It is the nature of the human condition to always want to make things better. I will always believe I should be getting more exercise, eating more fruit, reading more... but when I stop to think about the health (of mind and body) I have by default, I must remember to be thankful. I am fortunate.

Day 12: I am thankful for the new house, and I can't wait to get moved in. The more I think about it, the more I love that house. I'm looking forward to a garden in spring, a yard for the kids to play in, a room for them to keep their things in, a kitchen big enough to keep my baking projects from spilling over onto the dining room table, a home. It seems like every day I come across new things that will improve when we move in there. David is excited to have work space and a place to keep his projects (which he has already started to accumulate, recently). I think we all see the house as a place big enough for all of the living things to have room to be themselves, and still be together.

Day 13: I am thankful for my dogs. Between the mastiff and the border collie/lab, I hate giving them a bath and they consume SO much food. I haven't been able to take them out to potty recently, due to my precarious size, but I will admit that I don't miss cleaning up monster poops with tiny, plastic bags. But it's worth it for the cuddles when I'm not feeling well. And my mastiff, specifically, is my unwavering companion, always interested in what I'm doing and concerned for me when I'm doing things she hates doing (like taking a bath). Even when the kids are wrapped up in their own business, the dogs (and especially the mastiff) are wrapped up in mine, which feels nice. Also, they practically always respond when called for, and do as their told... unlike children.

Day 14: I am thankful that I am not famous. For those of you who didn't hear, Kevin Clash (the incredible puppeteer who controls and voices Elmo) was accused of being a pedophile. The (unnamed) accuser was a 23 year old man who claimed that he had a relationship with Clash that began when he was 17. It became public on Monday, when Kevin came forward with this statement: ""I am a gay man. I have never been ashamed of this or tried to hide it but felt it was a personal and private matter. I had a relationship with the accuser. It was between two consenting adults, and I am deeply saddened that he is trying to characterize it as something other than what it was." and, two days later, the accuser backed down and had his lawyers release a statement to agree with Kevin's. Seriously, you can't even be a puppeteer in peace these days.

I think Kevin Clash is an amazing and highly interesting person. And all I can think to say is, "I'm sorry you ever had to deal with this." and, "no wonder you dumped the guy."

Day 15: I am thankful for the nice people at the DMV. Getting my car title transferred into my name (from Will's) and getting my registration and tags updated and renewed has taken three trips to the DMV. On the one hand, it's incredibly frustrating to have to sit and wait for my number to be called just to find out that I'm missing some form, or that I need the original copy of something Will scanned and emailed to me. But I think these people know that. They've all been incredibly nice and understanding. True, they've been unwavering in their insistence that I follow the ridiculous rules. Still, soft voices and patience go a long way, especially when I have no other option than to drag all three of my small children into their office after driving the only car they all fit in, which has expired plates because of this crazy run-around. Their job has to be difficult. I thank them.

Day 16: I am thankful for my dad. Again, a very cathartic post. Obviously, without him I wouldn't exist. I also looked up to him a lot as a kid and he let me tag along with him while he re-roofed our house, put new siding up, and did yard maintenance. He also built snow men, played race cars, and helped me build a robotic pegasus. I have a good number of individually beautiful memories and I learned a lot from him. 

Now, though, I am thankful he stays out of my life. I'm sure he blames me for walking away and will probably never understand why. I just have to believe that I did the best I could to give him a second chance and know that I could never make him see what was really wrong.

The buddha says we should forgive and love everyone, but according to buddhist teachings, "the freedom of forgiveness often includes a firm boundary and loving distance from those who have harmed us." - Noah Levine, "Against The Stream"

Day 17: I am thankful for nap time. I'm not sure how much longer this is going to last, but it's the only time  I get any silence and time for introspection. Maybe having a yard and a play room will help in the future.

Day 18:  I'm thankful I grew up in a place and time when it was okay to ride my bike across (and even out of) town by myself. When I was little, my sister and I could even walk to the museum a few blocks from my house in St. Joseph, MO without an adult. I've been back to St. Joe as an adult and I'm completely certain I would be terrified to let my kids out in an unfenced yard in that town, now.

Day 19: I'm thankful I live in Colorado. We're pretty middle-of-the-road on a lot of things, including politics and crime ratings. But one great thing to be middle-of-the-road on is weather. I love that we have four distinct seasons (even though winter often stomps all over fall before anyone's ready) and that we get snow, but don't typically get snowed in. There's a lot of outdoor fun available just minutes away from... everywhere, and it's never "too..." anything to enjoy it. The summer is not hot. The winter is cold, but tolerably so. The only problem is I don't ever feel like it's warm enough for long enough to justify swimming in an outdoor pool. But I'm probably spoiled for that by living on Oahu for two years.

Day 20: I'm thankful for whoever donated the blood that saved my life when I was 15. I was in a car wreck and had to have a transfusion. My blood type is O- (thanks, dad), which means I can only receive O- blood, and I have to have a rhogam shot with every pregnancy so my immune system doesn't try to kill the baby. There aren't a lot of us O- people out there. In the US, only about 6.6% of people have it. So I have an immense appreciation for blood donors. But what's great about my blood is I can give it to literally anyone. I plan to start giving blood once Elon doesn't need me to keep it anymore.

Day 21: I'm Thankful for David's amazing family. We had a great time in Saint Lewis because everyone was so hospitable, considerate, and full of smiles. I exhausted myself last week, but it was well worth it. I'm always excited to spend more time with them, and I'm honestly not trying to flatter anyone.

Day 22: I'm Thankful for a simple life. I am currently able to homeschool my kids and I don't have to work for extra income. I get to bake, cook, and keep the house clean. I get to work on being introspective and on improving myself. Most importantly, I get to spend a lot of time with my family. It was difficult for me to adjust to this lifestyle. I liked having a job outside the house and I found it validating. Now I understand that I am extremely fortunate to be in this position and I should enjoy it now, in case circumstances change.

Leaf Mobile

This is the first autumn my kids have really been able to experience the falling of colorful leaves. The twins were born in Colorado, in February. Since then, though, we've lived in Texas and Hawaii mostly. They were really excited to see all of the colors on the tree right outside their window, and I was actually surprised to see how much fun they had leaf hunting. They especially loved the red ones.

They wanted me to save a bunch of them, and I just happened to know how. After preserving them, I used them to make a falling leaves mobile, which they love.

To be clear, this mobile is NOT kid proof. I hung mine up near the ceiling. The leaves are preserved, but not protected against crushing damage.


Things you need:

Freshly fallen leaves
Newsprint
Mod Podge
Paint brush
Thread
A stick

How we did it:

Press Leaves - Lay fresh, supple leaves between layers of newsprint, and put something on top to weigh it down. Newsprint is more absorbent than most other printed paper, so it helps keep the leaves from retaining their moisture. I used the voter information booklet that was mailed to me (after I read it). You should weigh it down evenly. I put the booklet under my bamboo cutting board so it was out of the way, and evenly smashed. They should stay here for a week or two. The air is super dry in Colorado, so it only took about a week.

Seal Them - Paint an even layer of Mod Podge on both sides of each leaf. I applied two coats to each, allowing them to dry completely in between. Their color came back, and they regained some of their flexibility.

Hang Them - There are probably a lot of things you could think up to do with the leaves at this point. What I did was string them to a stick using beading thread. Another idea is decoupaging a jar to make a pretty candle holder like this.

Cleaning With Baking Soda

I clean a lot. I used to be very proud of how much I knew about cleaning. There is a product for everything, and I had my favorites by the time I graduated high school. This cleaner is great for windows and mirrors but does NOT work on the tub, floors, or laundry. This one is only for laundry. Another one for the tub, sink and toilet, but not for the counters and floors. Also, they all smell terrible, some of them require ventilation and bleach your clothes and rags, and you should never let your kid or dog near them. I was pretty sure I knew all about it.

Now, I have kids and dogs and a small apartment that needs to be accessible to everyone. I also don't have enough space under my sink for all of that stuff. So, I found a few simple, safe things that take care of basically all of my cleaning needs. One of them is baking soda.

Things I use baking soda for:

Laundry - Over the years I've had small children, I've learned that baking soda is one great way to get pee smell out of clothes. I wish I had known that when I was paper training my mastiff. I just toss 1/4 to 1/2  cup of baking soda into my machine along with my usual detergent when I have something stinky to wash.

Trash Can Smell - Sometimes, when we take the trash out, our kitchen trash cans smell horrible. I spray the insides of the cans with vinegar and let it sit for a few minutes, then wipe it out. But to keep the smell away, you can sprinkle some fresh baking soda in the bottom of your trash can before you put the bag in.

Clean Toys - Baking soda  doesn't kill germs, but it's safe to use on things a baby or kid might put in their mouth and it adds some scrubbing power to vinegar, which does kill germs. So, if you have some unknowable sticky goop on your building blocks, baking soda can help scrub it off, and vinegar can sanitize it. Like vinegar, I use baking soda a lot because it is super safe to use around kids and pets.

Stain Removal - You can get stains off of surfaces with baking soda and water (3/1), and you can get most stains out of clothes with a mixture of baking soda, peroxide, and dish soap (I'll share that and my experiences with it in another post).

Clean Battery Terminals - I posted another entry about how to do this. It's just a sprinkling of baking soda, a little bit of water, and some scrubbing.

Refrigerator Smells - Keeping an open box of baking soda in the fridge helps rid your fridge of weird food smells. I don't recommend using the same box of baking soda when you want to bake, later.

Bath Tub - A paste of baking soda and liquid soap works great here. Like the stain removal liquid, if you want to brighten up the tub in the process, add some peroxide.

Other things it does:

Grease Fires -  Up to this point, I've never had one. But apparently you can put out a grease fire by sprinkling it with baking soda.

Grease Spills - Again, this is not something I've had to deal with because I live in an apartment and park in a parking lot. I've read that you can clean up grease spills by covering them with baking soda and letting it soak up.

Coffee Pots - I don't have a coffee pot, but baking soda is said to work great for removing mineral build up on these things. Scrub with ¼ baking soda to 1 quart water.

Your Face - a 2/1 mixture of baking soda and warm water is suggested as a cheap, environmentally friendly face wash. If you also want your cleanser to exfoliate, try a 1/1/2 of baking soda, water, and oat flour.

Your Hair - I... really don't know about this. I'm not sure I could do it. So, if you want to know more about washing your hair with baking soda (and conditioning it with apple cider vinegar), check out this other blog: My Merry Messy Life

Other Things - Baking soda's best quality is getting rid of smells, but it also makes a great scrubbing agent and is safe for kids and pets. If you want to scrub a painted surface, baking soda is great because it is not abrasive enough to damage the paint, but will still clean it. It does not disinfect. Really, almost anything you can think of that fits in those categories is a good candidate for an attempt with baking soda.

Cleaning With Vinegar

I clean a lot. I used to be very proud of how much I knew about cleaning. There is a product for everything, and I had my favorites by the time I graduated high school. This cleaner is great for windows and mirrors but does NOT work on the tub, floors, or laundry. This one is only for laundry. Another one for the tub, sink and toilet, but not for the counters and floors. Also, they all smell terrible, some of them require ventilation and bleach your clothes and rags, and you should never let your kid or dog near them. I was pretty sure I knew all about it.

Now, I have kids and dogs and a small apartment that needs to be accessible to everyone. I also don't have enough space under my sink for all of that stuff. So, I found a few simple, safe things that take care of basically all of my cleaning needs. One of them is distilled white vinegar.

Things I use vinegar for:

Laundry - Over the years I've had small children, I've learned that vinegar is one great way to get pee smell out of clothes. I wish I had known that when I was paper training my mastiff. I just toss 1/2 to 1  cup of vinegar into my machine along with my usual detergent when I have something stinky to wash.

Trash Can Smell - Sometimes, when we take the trash out, our kitchen trash cans smell horrible. I spray the insides of the cans with vinegar and let it sit for a few minutes, then wipe it out. Vinegar cuts the garbage smell, and don't worry... the vinegar smell goes away within minutes.

Clean Toys - Vinegar kills germs and it's safe to use on things a baby or kid might put in their mouth. The number one reason I use vinegar a lot because it is super safe to use around kids and pets.

Dog Mess - Again, vinegar kills germs and smells. I did eventually learn that it works great as weapon against dog 'accidents'. Just clean up any standing pile or puddle, then use vinegar to sanitize. I have never needed anything else, but if you need a bit more scrubbing or stain lifting power, sprinkle in a little baking soda.

Floors - My apartment is mostly carpeted and carpets do fine with vacuuming and deodorizing with baking soda, but the bathroom, kitchen and dining room need something else. On my laminate and linoleum floors, I spray diluted vinegar (1/1) and wipe it up with a towel. If your rooms are bigger, you can use a mop.

Cooking - Not what you're thinking. Although I'm sure there is a lot to be said about cooking with vinegar, I use it to clean up after cooking messes because it disinfects incredibly well. When I'm done breading chicken, I clean the table with my 1/1 vinegar spray.

Other things it does:

Shower Doors -  I don't currently have a shower door. But apparently you can clean mineral deposits from hard water with vinegar.

Dishwasher - I have never tried this, but if my dishwasher ever seems gross, I'm sure I will. To rid your dishwasher of soap build up and smells, pour 1 cup of vinegar into the empty machine and run a full cycle.

Metals - Copper, brass and pewter clean well with a mixture of vinegar and salt. (1/1)

Adhesive Labels - lay a rag soaked in vinegar over the label over night and it should slide right off in the morning.

Other Things - Vinegar gets rid of smells and mineral deposits, disinfects and is safe for kids and pets. Really, almost anything you can think of that fits in those categories is a good candidate for an attempt with vinegar. However, you should not use vinegar on marble surfaces as it can ruin the finish.

Pigs In The Oven

We took the kids to Tattered Cover recently and let each of them pick out a book. M and S picked seemingly random books, but C picked a kids' cookbook by Klutz, called Kids Cooking that comes with it's own, color-coded measuring spoons. She was very insistent that, if we buy this book, we must use it for cooking.

I looked through it and I was impressed. I've seen other "kid recipe" compilations that were inexplicably full of ingredients I would otherwise never buy, or instructions they couldn't understand (but could probably do if I explained it to them). On the other end of that spectrum, there are a lot of kids recipes out there that are just too simple. Combine yogurt and fruit. Exciting.

This cookbook has muffins and french toast and from-scratch brownies. It also has a "not to eat" list that includes a dog treat recipe, homemade bubble solution, and play dough. And, as I have come to expect from Klutz, it is written for kids. In fact, it is written TO kids.

My kids aren't quite that confident in their reading skills yet, but if they were, the instructions would be spot on for them to understand. "In a big enough mixing bowl, stir together the flour and the quick oats (or wheat germ) and the sugar, baking powder and salt. Then dig a little hole in the middle of it all.", it says. Of course, that little hole is for adding the liquid ingredients, later. What I love is "big enough". As an adult, I get pretty tired of reading small, medium and large as though that means anything to me. As far as I can tell, all of my mixing bowls are large.

And if you somehow don't understand the instructions, there are plenty of illustrations of white gloves following directions. This must either be the Hamburger Helper guy, or disembodied Mickey Mouse hands.

The first section of the book is "kitchen rules". I love rule #2: "Be Clean. Cooking is a lot of fun, but you won't get to do it very often if you leave a mess behind you. If your recipe makes you wait for something to cook, why not wash some dirty dishes while you wait? Afterwards, clean everything up and put it away. You'll keep your grown-up assistant a lot happier."

Overall, this is an amazing book and I could rave about it for pages. We used it to make pigs in blankets, even though I think every grown-up in America knows how, or would know immediately if they just saw one. The kids were thrilled to use the cookbook and follow the directions, which has it's own value.

DIY Shrinky Dinks

The plastic for this was hard to come by, to be honest. #6 is difficult to recycle in Colorado, so there isn’t really a lot of it. Other people’s blogs were suggesting that you could get it at the salad bar in a grocery store, or the bakery. But, one day as I was waiting on a prescription to be filled, I checked all of the plastic containers in that side of my grocery store and found that only the deli containers with the black bottoms had clear, #6 plastic lids. And I don’t buy fried chicken.

I experimented with this project and learned a few things I’ll share with you at the end.

Things you need:

#6 clear plastic
Permanent markers (colors of your choosing)
Scissors
Hole punch (if you want to make charms)
Parchment paper
Cookie sheet

How we did it:

Acquire plastic - Seriously, this was more complicated than other bloggers made it seem. Maybe it’s because I live in Colorado. Take out doesn’t come in plastic, and grocery store muffins come in #1s. It’s hard to recycle #6 around here, and people care about recycling, so the only things that I could find in #6s were the deli foods I literally never buy (I scouted the store in my free time). So my partner asked the deli guy if we could just have some #6, clear plastic lids “for a science experiment” (with kids in tow). He was clearly a bit confused, but gave up a stack of lids without a fuss. Win.

Preheat your oven - Preheat to 250, now or later. I never preheat first thing because it always takes me longer to prepare than it takes my oven to preheat. Besides, 250 is SO low.

Cut and/or color - First, cut your plastic so that you have a plain, flat piece. Then, depending on what your plan is, either color the plastic or cut it into the shapes you want. I used the plastic to make necklace charms for each of my kids with my phone number and my partner’s, so they are equipped to get help if they ever get lost. For that, I cut out the shapes I wanted, then wrote the information on the plastic. I’ve seen really attractive charms made by letting small children color a whole sheet of plastic, then cutting it into identical shapes.

Tip: Cut the pieces about 6 times the size you want them to end up. Trust me.

Hole punch - Only if you want a charm. This might be a step you want to do after cutting and before coloring, if you’re doing a more planned-out piece like I was. Otherwise, it can be done after.

Tip: When the plastic shrinks, it also thickens, so the holes don’t need to be as far from the edge as you might think. The pieces become quite sturdy.

Bake - Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. I’m not sure if it would be a problem if you didn’t, but I didn’t want to find out. You can reuse the parchment paper for more shrinks if you want.

I can’t tell you how long to bake them. It’s a quick process (my largest pieces took only a few minutes). It depends on the size of the plastic piece, it seems. Just watch them. They will curl up a lot. You might worry that if two parts of hot plastic touch each other it’ll be ruined. It’s fine. Then, they uncurl. When the pieces are all completely flat again, they’re done. You might want to bake similarly sized pieces together and avoid mixing sizes. I didn’t wait to see what would happen if I left them in longer than they needed.

More Tips: Experiment with this. I learned that they work better if they curl upward instead of down at the edges. For my lids, they always curled in the same direction (toward the top/outside of the lid). They also always seemed to shrink more in one direction than the other. I found that I could see faint striations (lines) in the plastic and that the greatest shrinking happened against the striations. So if you want all of your pieces to come out the same size and shape, cut them the same size and in the same direction on the plastic.

Also, seal them. My kids were playing with their charms and rubbed off part of the marker. I don’t have anything to seal them with just yet, but I’m planning on getting some spray sealer. I hear that works just fine. I’ve also heard clear nail polish works, but check that it is non-acetone before you try.

This project is adapted from RustSunshine with modifications and additional information based on my experience.