Why I'm Homeschooling

I've been having a bit of a rough patch lately. The Cub, at four months old, sleeps exceptionally well and isn't a particularly fussy baby. I'm fortunate on that note. Still, he is only four-months-old. I still get up at least once each night to feed him so that neither of us is going a full eight (or more) hours without a nursing session. I'm concerned that if I don't, my milk production will drop.

I already don't sleep well. I never have. So, feeding the Cub in the middle of the night just compounds that. This morning I finally fell, very suddenly, into a deep, dream-filled sleep about 20 minutes before I had to get up to feed the girls. My mom brain woke me up before my alarm went off with a panic of, "am I late?!" even though I knew I had an alarm set. Ahhh... cortisol.

Waking up like that is always interesting. I fumble into the kitchen and, on auto-pilot, manage to serve cereal and milk, the whole time occupied more in thinking that I won't be able to than in thinking about what I'm doing. It's like the normal me is trapped in a fog in the back of my head saying, "today is definitely the day I forget to put the milk away. I just know it." while my body is somehow remembering that milk goes back in the fridge after the cap goes back on.

On mornings like this, I set breakfast out on the table and inform the girls that I've had a bad start, so when they're done eating they should go to their play room. I'll be back in an hour. Then I go back to bed. I have to admit, it makes me feel like a bad parent and a bad homeschooler. On days like today, I have to remind myself why I homeschool, so I can get back on track.

I know my kids better than anyone. I was reminded of this when I was giving their dad a run-down of what's new with them yesterday so he would be prepared for his upcoming visit. I know how they learn and what they like and what they can do. I know how much they eat and when they start to get grumpy. I always know when there's something difficult going on at home, and I know how to deal with it and still manage to teach them, because I was there when it happened. Which leads me into...

I'm not counting on anyone else to do their job so I can do mine. They don't underperform for a week before I notice the trend and talk to their parents. I am their parent, so I notice underperformance right away and take note of it so I can try to determine where it's coming from.

I am their advocate and I'm right here, where they can access me whenever they want. I'm not their only advocate. It's just nice to know that they have one, always.

I will help them get involved in things that interest them. I will defend them when they're right and I will help them understand when they're wrong. And, while this is true of most parents, I get to do it even between the hours of 8 and 3 on week days.

Twins are complicated. I don't want my twins being compared to each other. I don't want one to end up walking in the shadow of the other. I have a suspicion about how that would turn out if they were in public school, but I won't put it on the internet. I'll just say this: One of my twins is more out-going than the other, across the board. They're both smart and capable, but one loves to impress me with new things she learned and ideas she has, while the other learns whatever I have to offer... but prefers to go outside and play.

As a result, they'll probably have different interests, different plans and different friends. That's fine. I just don't want them have to contend with anyone's expectations for them to be more like each other when it comes to their education.

Real life is waiting. When they're ready to move out and be on their own, I want them to be ready for it. I want them to see and know what it takes to keep a home going. They should appreciate a career that keeps food in the fridge, and still understand that someone has to do the laundry and dishes and cook and sweep and put wayward things away. After all, if no one was continually putting the mittens back where they belong, I guarantee no one would ever see them again.

Of course, one person can both have a career and maintain a home. But the point is that both jobs are valuable. If any one (or two or three or all) of my kids should choose to be a homemaker, or to take on both roles, they should certainly have been trained in occupation. Admittedly, I'm still learning new things, like to microwave my sponges to kill the bacteria so they don't smell (thanks Julie) and that fabric softener helps get the tangles out of plastic doll hair (I still haven't tried that one. I think mom told me about it). Some day, I'm going to be an old lady/house keeping ninja.

And this last one is pretty selfish:

I can take them on vacation whenever I want. We can go to the zoo on a week day. We can stay up late on a Sunday. We can go visit my sister in Texas in the Winter just to get away from the snow if we want to. I never have to arrange it with anyone's teachers or ask the kids to pick up their homework in advance. And they never have to do homework on vacation. Next Friday, their dad is coming to pick them up for about a week. He can take them to see his grandparents in another city and that's just fine. We are about as free as we could possibly be.

These probably aren't all of my reasons. But these are the ones that have the most value for me.

On days like this, I feel pretty awful in the morning. I feel awful about leaving them to entertain themselves for an hour... but they probably need that time as much as I do. And, besides, after they finished lunch, we went outside and spent hours playing guitar, blowing bubbles, playing with the cub and the critters, and taking pictures of bees, flowers, the dogs and bubbles.

I think it's just easier to feel guilty for going back to bed than it is to remember what a small percentage of my time that was... and how much more of it I spend enjoying life and my family.

Just One Week

Today, I'm tired of the ups and downs of being a parent. I feel like I need a break. Just... a week or so of silence. I just need a week of time when cleaning up my own dishes and folding my own laundry is enough to keep the house clean, and when I can do those things without repeated interference.

For just one week, I want to decide what I want to eat and when, and only have to cook for myself. Maybe I could even go out to eat. I could finally fit in the clothes shopping I keep saying I need to do before it gets warm (maybe that's why it keeps snowing). I could really, fully clean the house instead of doing the same handful of chores over and over again in hopes that they'll keep the place from looking like a disaster and smelling like dog butts. I could sleep through the night. Oh how I'd love to sleep through the night.

I could exercise and not have to share my small workout space with three little girls every time I try. Truth is, I probably wouldn't exercise. I'd probably play games on my iPad and call my mom and talk and catch up on Doctor Who and blog and take a long bath without interruption.

If I had one week to myself, I'd finally go shopping for the frames I need so I can hang the posters in Es room and the paint I need for the wooden letters I bought for the girls. I'd finally get caught up on the laundry and have everything put away. I'd finally finish reading the book I've been trying to read since last July (no kidding).

As it is, I do what I can, when I can. I haven't cleaned the finger prints off of the windows or french doors since we moved in, but I've deodorized the rugs twice in the last month. I haven't dusted this house at all, but I've washed 6 people's laundry at least 16 times (and I'd rather not know how many loads that comes out to) since E was born. I still haven't scrubbed the crayon off of the wall in the girls' closet, but I did just deep clean the refrigerator. Unfortunately, I also find myself mindlessly surfing the internet just trying to feel relaxed and/or entertained. Then, I just feel guilty that I haven't gotten anything useful done.

Every night, I lie in bed and think of things I need to do. Then, every day, I don't get all of them done.

I suppose this is the nature of home schooling, especially when combined with having a 4-month-old cub who needs so much of my attention. I have to believe it will get better.

Random Recommendations (take it or leave it)

I'm not really sure what to write about this week. There has been a lot going on, with more family visiting and soccer practice, games, and guitar lessons continuing. But, I feel like that story has been told. So, instead, I'm going to make a few random recommendations from my experience:

Clean your tub with baking soda - Martha Stewart said so. I tried it because we didn't have any Bon Ami, and I have to agree. Just approximate (because the measurements aren't that important) one cup of baking soda, one teaspoon of liquid dish soap, and enough water to form a paste. Martha Stewart includes a few drops of essential oil (for smell) but you don't need it. It works, and it means I don't have to buy a special product for my porcelain fixtures. 

Other benefits: It's safe for the kids, it doesn't bleach my towels, it's cheap, and it doesn't leave a weird film that shows up in my next bath. Someone complained in the comments that most essential oils are toxic to cats. I didn't put any in my mixture, even though I don't have cats. It didn't need any because it doesn't really have a smell on its own. It just smelled slightly like my dish soap, which is nice.

Foam floor tiles - My mom recommended this site to get foam floor tiles for the baby to lay on. My house is almost entirely hard wood or tile, so I was planning to get some floor tiles for the cub to crawl on, but I figured I'd end up with primary color tiles from Toys 'R' Us, and I'd have to buy several packs. The rubber flooring site has a lot of options with different thicknesses and color combinations. 

I ordered 24, 1/2" thick, 2' x 2', reversible, green and brown, interlocking tiles and covered my whole front room with them. I had to teach our 50lb and 100lb dogs to stay off of them because their claws will probably ruin them, but all of the kids love the tiles. In fact, when family visited, we all wound up hanging out on the floor in the family room with the kids most of the time.

At the time that I'm writing this, they're running a promotion. You can get a code to receive 28% off of your entire order if you like them on Facebook. (I did it. I know it works.) This is their official facebook page. I could just give you the code, but I think that would make me kind of a jerk. 

Diapers.com - I love this site and all of the sister sites (soap.com, wag.com, yoyo.com etc.). I ordered all of my cloth diapers from them. They have two-day delivery, free on orders of $35 or more. Their listed prices include tax, so I'm never surprised by the total. Their return policy is lenient and using it is easy. 

I recently ordered training pants there and had to return them because they were too big. You fill out a quick form to detail what you're returning and why, then they use that to populate a return label for you. You print it and tape it to the same box they sent the items in (or a different one if you choose) and drop it off at a UPS store or drop off location to send it back, free of charge. You have the option of having the funds returned to your bank or having it saved to your store account as credit on the site. 

The nice thing about credits on the site is they can be used at any of the sister sites, where you can buy books, household items, pet supplies, toys, makeup, detergent, and even tents and sports gear. I decided to buy a cheaper version of training pants and I'm still trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my store credit: Curtains for the front room? A backpack for hiking with my dog? A toy for the cub? The next Winnie The Pooh book? A new soccer ball for S?

Washing Cloth Diapers - Speaking of the cloth diapers, I've seen a lot of concern and confusion about how to wash them. The first time I used them was for M, when she was first starting to potty train. I just washed those the same as I washed everything else and they were fine. They didn't stain or give her a rash. But that's a toddler on grown-up food; a breastfed infant is a whole different animal.

Cub is a breastfed, cloth diaper baby. If you breastfeed, you're aware of the crazy, yellow, liquid poop... and how unfortunately well it stains. If you have an infant, you're probably aware of how easily they get rashes. So, let me share with you what works for me (your experience may be different).

I wash my diapers, disassembled, in hot water with my regular detergent. To be honest, I'm not that careful to make sure that it is dye or fragrance free. I use some arm and hammer stuff for sensitive skin. C used to be allergic to Tide, so I switched to A&H and it didn't give her a rash, so I stuck with it. 

Problem: cub kept getting rashes. Once, when he spent most of the day in his Moby wrap while we were out and about, he got a rash so bad it took days to get rid of. When we're out, we put him in a disposable for ease of changing him in public restrooms, so it wasn't the cloth diapers that caused it. But the cloth diapers certainly weren't fixing it either.

Solution: I added an extra rinse with nothing but cold water and vinegar. The rash cleared up pretty quickly and hasn't come back. I get to continue using the detergent that I know works for my daughters, and I don't have to buy a separate one for the diapers. I have gallons of vinegar around my house anyway. 

My Favorite Chocolate Chip Cookies

D calls these the perfect cookies. They're not too sweet, they cook perfectly and have a great texture, and the amount of chocolate chips is perfect. I made a batch of these for D's family when they visited and got quite a few compliments. Actually, I make these more often than any other cookie because my kids love them. Don't all kids love chocolate chip cookies? I make them in such a way that results in uniformly sized and shaped cookies, too, so there aren't any arguments about who got the bigger cookie (although D sometimes complains that some of them didn't get as many chips as others). 

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Serves about 3 dozen

Total time 2 hours 50 minutes
Bake time 8-10 minutes per sheet
Freeze time 2 hours

Prep time 20 minutes

Ingredients

3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup sugar
1 egg
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups flour
2 tsp cornstarch
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup chocolate chips

Instructions

Prepare a cookie sheet or two. I use 2, and bake 3 sets of cookies in rotation. You can use cooking spray or parchment paper.

Cream together butter and sugars. Add egg and vanilla and blend. I use my standing mixer for all of the mixing in this recipe. You can do it by hand (I did, before D got me the mixer).

Mix in flour, cornstarch, baking soda, and salt. Stir in chocolate chips.

Use a tablespoon, cookie scoop, or round cookie cutter to portion the dough into cookies of the desired size. 

Place portioned dough onto cookie sheet and freeze for a couple of hours. This will harden the dough and keep it from spreading out so much when baking.

Preheat oven to 350F.

Once frozen, arrange cookies on a prepared cookie sheet, at least 1 inch apart. Bake for 8-10 minutes, until barely golden brown around the edges (do not wait for tops to brown).

Let cool on the cookie sheet, on a cooling rack for about five minutes.

Finally, Firsts

Over the weekend, S finally had her first soccer game, and C finally had her first guitar lesson. Both of their activities for the weekend before had been canceled due to... living in Colorado. I mean, seriously, is it reasonable to drop 6 or more inches of snow the night before extra curriculars, and right after it was warm enough that I thought it was safe to plant the garden?

Anyhow, C's first guitar lesson was rescheduled for last Saturday (which she was supposed to have off), which made it overlap with what would have been S's second soccer game. I took S to her game and Papa took C to her lesson.

S's practice (usually on Thursdays) was also cancelled last week because there was still snow on the field at that point. But her team still won on Saturday. We're not really supposed to talk about it. The coaches don't want to put any pressure on the kids to win, and instead just focus on playing, learning, and working together. But... S's team won. I'm pretty sure it's okay to say that in my blog.

To be fair, though, I'm pretty sure that's mostly because S's team figured out which goal to head for more quickly after half-time.

The point is, S had a great time, and she's starting to gain some confidence so she can get into the crowd with the boys and get involved. I'm really glad to see the changes in her personality. She seems to love having a thing she does without her sisters, and she's starting to voice her own opinions around the house. I'm not sure that's related, but maybe it is.

C's class consisted of about 6 kids her own age, all with acoustic guitars like hers. They're going to learn to play frere jacques, one note at a time. At their first lesson, the teacher had them color a picture of a guitar, then showed them how to play a G chord. They also talked about parts of a guitar, and how to treat a guitar (strum, don't pluck, etc). She was very excited to show me how she plays that one chord, and she's been practicing it several times a day ever since. She wants to know how to play a G chord so well that she doesn't have to look at the frets or count the strings.

I was glad to hear that there were other kids. I thought it might have been a 1-on-1 lesson, which would preclude her from meeting other kids and making friends. And, as a parent, I'm also happy to hear that the other kids had guitars just like hers. I'm always worried about my kids getting the wrong kind of attention just because I bought them a different kind of guitar or something silly like that. I remember what it was like to be that kid.

This weekend, we also went out to the mountains with Papa. He was helping some friends move things into storage while I kept an eye on the kids, who were wandering the wild, sloped yard. They got to see deer run through, even. And, of course, we also celebrated Easter. All in all, it was a great weekend, weather and all.