Exciting News

We FINALLY got our ultrasound this morning. The girls were all excited to go see the baby, but almost totally lost interest after they saw what they wanted to see. My partner got a half-day off of work for it, so it was a room full of family.

Let me just get this out of the way: baby is healthy. All organs are normal, heart rate is perfect, growth is right on schedule... no complaints.

Also, it's a boy!

Boy and proud! This was the first thing he showed us.

He also has... substantial thighs like his daddy. In fact, based on his measurements, he's in the 78th percentile for his age.

And, to be clear, EVERYONE was excited. All three of my girls are excited to have a little brother and I've already been asked if they get to hold him "when he's out and healthy and... clean."

(not) Ultrasound

I had my intake appointment on the 14th, last Tuesday, at my new clinic. They sent various body fluids off to be tested, and we all got to listen to baby’s heartbeat. The nurse also explained that since I will be opting to have a C-Section (I have already had to have two, and don’t want to risk serious complications), and my due date is December 31st, they would normally want to schedule the surgery for 1 week in advance which would land me in the hospital for a couple of days starting on Christmas Eve. She reassured me that we could push it back a couple of days so I can be with my kids on Christmas. Poor Christmas baby.

The clinic scheduled my 20 week, detailed ultrasound for the 21st, which actually coincides with my 21st week of pregnancy. I know and accept that this is my fault, because I hesitated to start prenatal appointments, not wanting to figure out how to fit them into my still otherwise normal life. But when that day came around, my partner had taken the day off of work, we had gotten the kids up and breakfasted, we were all dressed, I had done my makeup and hair... and I got a call from the clinic.

They informed me that their ultrasound machine was down. This was fairly early in the morning, so I can only assume that whatever it was, it happened overnight. At that point, they said they were bringing in a specialist to have a look and try to fix it, but they weren’t sure how long that would take. They asked me to call back before I left the house for my appointment, to check on the progress.

They’re a small, comfortable clinic, so it’s not surprising that they apparently have only one machine. Also, I am thankful that they caught us before we walked out the door, even though the clinic is only 6 minutes away, by google’s estimate. It is considerate of them to call.

When I called back about an hour later, the repair tech had only been there for around 20 minutes and still didn’t know what the trouble was. This time, “I’ll call you back as soon as I know something.” is what she offered.

When she called, about 15 minutes before my scheduled appointment, she explained that the machine was still not functioning, and they would need to reschedule my appointment, “does Friday morning work for you?”

I hate to be one of those disgruntled clients who gets short with a representative on the phone who had nothing to do with the delay. Don’t shoot the messenger. But the first thing to cross my mind was, “my partner is going to have to get ANOTHER day off.” and the truth is I wasn’t sure that Friday WAS going to be okay, because I needed to discuss it with him first. Even then, we have to wait until he goes back to work to see if he can even have the time off. I’m sure all of that made me sound... exasperated. I know it wasn’t this nice lady’s fault.

But I rescheduled my appointment for Friday at 9:15 AM. My partner just confirmed that morning off. Hopefully things will be fully functional by then, and we’ll see what there is to see.

Pending Baby

I don't normally blog in the middle of the week, but this is not a homeschooling update, so I thought I would just share it as it becomes available.I seem to be gaining some readership that extends beyond my friends and family, so I suppose I should let you know what they’ve already heard: I’m pregnant.

As of August 14th, I’ve met the 20 week mark, and am halfway to the finish line with baby number 4. I had specifically planned to avoid having more kids... until I met my partner. He doesn’t have any of his own, but he has been instrumental (and amazing) in day-to-day ventures with mine. We found out my sister was pregnant and decided to try for our own, with the thought that close-in-age cousins would be a great idea for the family. Then, right as we were finding out we were pregnant, we found out that his sister-in-law was as well. It’s going to be one crazy winter.

The most satisfying part about this whole experience is a convenient combination of being right, and this finally going the way I always thought it should. My partner has been incredibly supportive and helpful and understanding. I knew him to be a reliable and strong person, but a pessimistic part of me really clung to the idea that he would change as soon as he thought he had me committed. He hasn’t at all. I’ve been sick, or tired or emotional. There have been cravings, cry sessions, and energy crashes at dinner time. He stands by me through it all and doesn’t make me feel guilty for feeling weird.

Baby at 10 weeks

At 10 weeks, I wound up in the ER over some severe abdominal pain. After a thorough ultrasound, we’re still not sure what caused it. What matters is it never came back, and we got a chance to check out the baby and make sure everything was fine. Since then, I’ve had some trouble dealing with my insurance (and my resistance to what I see as unnecessary medical appointments) so I’ve only recently begun having regular check ups. A thorough ultrasound will follow shortly, and I’ll let you know what we find out.

By the way, we decided on the names Ada Danelle (girl) or Elon Tiberius (Boy). First names are linked to the person for whom our baby will be named.

Since I’m coming clean about this, I should let you know a few other dirty details of my life.

Obviously, my partner is not the father of my previous children (the twins and their little sister). They, however, do share a father: My husband. Yes, I’m still married to the guy, despite continued efforts to be otherwise. He and I have been physically separated (living in different states 1,000 or more miles away from each other) for around 20 months, now. I’ve spent this entire time trying to get a divorce, starting, of course, with the most basic, “I’m done and I want a divorce”. But it has been a nasty battle.

I’m not going to air the details of this experience to the entire internet, but I’m sure many of the divorcees out there have at least some idea what this feels like. It has actually been incredibly difficult not to explode to all of my friends on Facebook, on the more difficult days. I have managed to find a few to confide in, but mostly it stays between me and my mom. However, I will say that since I’ve rebooted my own life, I feel free, productive, beautiful, fresh, and desirable in ways I haven’t experienced in years. I’m a whole new person, and I feel big enough to face fears and insecurities I harbored and let grow as his wife.