Thursday, March 10, 2016

I'm a Feminist but I'm Not Going to Get Naked

I cut all of my hair off and Papa says I look like I have a feminist blog.  So, here goes.I guess I'm a bit of a feminist.

I think women should be paid equally. I think women should be treated equally. I think no one should rape anyone and no one should abuse anyone and it doesn't matter if the victim is a woman or a man... so I guess that falls under feminist.

I think anyone should be able to be first lady/gentleman, regardless of whether he or she has been publicly nude or even photographed nude. In fact, I think those same people should be equally able to be president. Michele Obama's arms should be a complete non-issue, and Melania Trump's nude photos shouldn't be an issue, either... even if I don't think Trump should be allowed to be president.

Presidency aside, women should be allowed to be whatever they want to be. There are no jobs that are more feminist than others. Nothing should stop a girl from dreaming of (and achieving) being an astronaut or a field researcher or a pilot or a nanny. My daughters should not feel guilty if they choose to be a mother. No one should ever suggest that they are "only a mom". Being a mom is hard work, and the more pressure we put on our moms to be more than "just a mom", the more children are being left with strangers. And worse, the value of our children is slowly chiseled away by that pressure. If we make women believe that the only feminist thing to do is to break the gender stereotypes and climb the corporate ladder, we are basically telling them that their jobs are more important than their children. The only feminist thing to do is... exactly what you want, without letting anyone else decide for you.

I cut my hair because it was frustrating. It was always in the way. I have four children I'm always having to look down to. I spend two days a week in a botany lab, looking down into a microscope. I like to be outside. I like to camp and hike and ride my bike. My hair was always in a ponytail, so I decided to just get rid of it entirely. I made that decision for myself.

In the time since I cut my hair this way, I got an invitation to a campus feminists group. I wouldn't say it had anything to do with my hair style, but the two events coincided. When asked what the group was about, the girl, who is probably close to my age and also has children, was very excited to announce a list of lecture topics and activities. One of those activities was a slut walk.

I don't have a problem with slut walks. I think it's important to bring the secretive issue of rape to the attention of the public. I also understand that not everyone gets naked for these events... but I actively think you shouldn't.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, people who have been publicly nude should not be limited or shamed by their choice, whether male or female. Somehow, we've got to make nudity less of a taboo in this country. Slut walks, though, are probably inadvertently associating nudity with violence. Sure, just because you're naked doesn't mean someone can have their way with you, and you're trying to stand up for that message while demanding attention for the cause. People can't ignore naked (or mostly naked) women in the streets with picket signs. But if this is the only time we see women dressed like this (I don't know about your life, but this and Pride Fest are basically it for me) it starts to seem like naked women are associated with rape culture. eww.

Besides, I've never been called a slut while I was naked or wearing shorts and a bikini top. I've been called a slut while wearing stilettos and a knee-length skirt, or a low-cut top, or a shirt that fell to just below my ribs. I've never been called a slut when I was extremely exposed... only when I was just a little more exposed than standard.

I think it's like the uncanny valley. If you're too far from what society considers acceptable, you're just clearly not normal. If you're just slightly outside of the norm, you make everyone uncomfortable because they can't figure you out.

Sure, the point is to enforce the idea that, no matter what you are or aren't wearing, you don't deserve to be raped. So naked would be one extreme. But, of the 60 percent of the Harvard class of '15 who responded to a survey, "31 percent said they had experienced some sort of unwanted sexual conduct at Harvard."

So, wear your short shorts, your belly shirts, your high-heeled boots, and your skirts, or your regular clothes but don't think you need to go naked.

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