Vacations with Kids

I don't hate traveling with my kids. I will admit, though, that I certainly used to. Actually, I haven't taken them anywhere on a plane since we flew back from Hawaii a few years ago. Since I have four kids, it's actually cheaper (not to mention easier) to road trip anywhere within the country. But I did fly to Hawaii with two not-quite-two-year-old girls and back with two four-year-olds and a one-year-old.

If you're about to fly to Hawaii with young children, I do not envy you.

In my experience, airline staff are (at least for the most part) understanding and considerate. Having to fly, alone, with my toddler twins, I met only one employee I could have punched in the face. He was a twenty-something, red-headed man at the terminal who said something nasty about why I didn't have help, but only to one of his coworkers... as I was walking away. I didn't have help because my fiancé was a Navy man. We were flying to my dad's house from separate states. "Learn some respect and grow a pair!" is what I should have said.

Rant aside, I have had great experiences with airline personnel. They've always helped me get a better seat when needed, and other passengers have always been very understanding. I need to sit with my kids, preferably near a bathroom, and you do not want to be between us and the aisle.

These are my five most important lessons from flying with children:

1. Pack your own carry-on items as lightly as possible. Make room for all of the stuff your kids might want. They don't understand the frustrating circumstance of being locked in a tube in the sky, unable to access their favorite things on a whim.
2. Have a small diaper bag for the essentials. Pack it with only things you need for a change. Remember, airplane bathrooms are tiny. You definitely don't want to take your hulking diaper bag in there, filled with bottles, bibs, and a huge container of powder. (Side note: buy the travel size powder and cream.)
3. Don't forget to bring changes of clothes. If baby spits up a lot, or soaks diapers to the point of leaking, you might want a change of clothes for yourself, too.
4. Smile. This advice was given to me before my first plane trip with the girls. It truly must be the most under-rated trick in the motherhood book. Smiling makes you more approachable. It may seem like people would want to help you more if you seemed frazzled and helpless, but it honestly doesn't work like that. Smile, say "thank you" in the most cheerful and appreciative tone you can muster, and don't let them see you sweat.
5. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Looking helpless and asking for help are not the same thing. A line from my history: "Is there any way I could get one of those airport trolley things to help me get these car seats to my next terminal?" For some reason, when people see you doing a heroic job of keeping your herd together without a tear, they want to help you.

When it comes to road-tripping, know this: It's going to take longer than you expected.

I have a huge vehicle. We have, in the past, gotten two adults, three kids in carseats, two large dogs, and a week's worth of supplies into my car; now, with a fourth carseat in the car, we can never take the dogs.

We've done road trips lasting anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days with these kids. I've braved long road trips with them for their entire lives, starting with two infants. Let me share my knowledge of the road:

1. Overestimate... everything. We always plan time for meals, but we forget how long it takes to get kids to eat enough food to tide them over until the next meal. Count the number of diapers you use in a day: bring at least one and a half times that number for each road trip day. Another huge mistake we've made is not bringing enough music. You won't alway have radio, and you're going to get tired of the same six CDs. Man, I wish I had an aux port.
2. Learn to love cosmetic wipes. I wouldn't recommend cleaning your face (or anyone else's) with a standard baby wipe, but a cosmetic wipe sure hits the spot when you can't take a real shower. Besides, for some reason my face feels greasier when I've spent a day in the car.
3. Remember what not to pack. Bring your kid's favorite stuffed animal or blanket, but, for the love of sanity, don't pack it! Put it in the floor, in front of them, or on the seat beside them. You do not want to pull over to find it when they want it five minutes after you pull out of the driveway. Bring snacks, water, and appropriate games and toys. Put them in a separate bag where you can access them on demand. If your car has those nice pockets in the back of the driver and passenger seats and your kid can reach that far, use them.
4. If you can help it, try not to stay on the road over night. You're not the only one who would benefit from some real rest in a hotel, or at a friend's house along the way. It's hard for kids to sleep in the car. It's hard for me to sleep in the car. And if everyone is grumpy at 6AM on day two, we're in for trouble.
5. Even if you can't stay at a hotel, they will, in fact, sleep. Still, don't bother with the usual schedule. They won't sleep for the normal eight or more hours at a time, but it will still be nice when they do stop babbling back there. Bring a book, a crocheting project, your laptop, or anything else you can spend that time doing (unless you're driving).
6. Again, make a diaper bag of only the essentials. You don't know what those gas station restrooms will have in store for you. Bring sanitizer and, if you have someone in diapers, a portable changing pad.
7. And, if you do have a diapered bottom, stop frequently. This is incredibly important because sitting in those diapers for long periods of time can cause unbelievable diaper rash, even if they're barely wet. I made this mistake early in my motherhood. So, change the butt-cover early and often. Keep powder and cream on hand. You may even want to do a preemptive powder coat with every diaper to keep a dry bottom.