So Far

The girls are coming home tomorrow. I'm incredibly glad they'll be back soon. I miss them. We have managed to do some things we'd been putting off and we got to spend some time together, but I'm ready for life to go back to normal.

On my side of this separation, a lot got done. I've been getting my exercise routine done as often as I originally intended to. I've done all of the laundry including folding and putting away. I have slept in, stayed up late, and caught up on shows I'm interested in.

Papa and I did some careful, not so rushed shopping and managed to forget something anyway. We still cant remember what. But we did get an extra car seat and stroller for my baby niece when my mom and sister bring her next month.

We went out to eat several times because we rarely get to with the tinies. We ordered pizza once and ate it while watching a movie on the couch.

I finally got to go in the REI we always drive by when we go to the children's museum. Papa returned the shoes I ordered that didn't fit him and got a new pair of those crazy 5-fingers things. We also wandered the store to see if we could find anything else we had been needing to get. We wound up with new bite valves for the kids' camelbak cups, and a smaller knife hat Papa can take to work. We wouldn't have even made it through the trying on shoes portion with the kids in tow. Papa would have had to go on his own after work.

We were going to try to go hiking because we love hiking and the girls are at just the wrong age for it, it seems. They can't really be carried, but lack the physical endurance to go very far under their own power. unfortunately, we didn't manage to hike because the weather was just not quite warm down here in the plains, so we were pretty sure we couldn't comfortably hike the Cub around in the mountains in plain clothes. Plus, it was threatening to rain the whole time.

Instead, we found ourselves at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, where we have a membership but rarely use it because M, particularly, isn't really interested in that sort of thing yet. The Cub isn't either, but the worst he can do is fuss for a bit and fall asleep. Papa saw the gems and minerals exhibit for the first time (what a bore that would have been for the girls). We also explored their temporary mammoths and mastodons exhibit. It was amazing, and we're considering taking the twins to see it (still not sure if M would appreciate it).

First picture I could find of
M and her Bear bear

On the other side, I haven't heard much from the girls or their dad. What I have heard has me concerned.

The first text I got from their dad was "... Atlas may have killed bearbear." I tried to respond without anger. Atlas is a German Shepherd. He used to be our dog, but we couldn't control him so we gave him to the girls' aunt. He is better behaved under her stewardship, but still unruly.  He is known to destroy things, particularly unfamiliar things. And bear bear is M's favorite thing. She panics and cries if she can't find him, and she always wants him when she's trying to sleep or calm down from an upset. She's had him since she was barely older than the Cub is now. He's worn out and ragged. I once scoured the internet trying to find a duplicate bear bear. I found the exact same bear and tried to convince her to let me replace him (lest he fall apart someday in the near future) and "new bear", as she calls him, simply wasn't good enough and has been more or less ignored since then.

This, by the way, isn't the first time my girls' most beloved things have been damaged in significant ways by that dog. It... frustrates (for lack of more colorful word at the moment) me that they would even let him near these important things. Eos recently ate half of one of my socks when she was panicked because she couldn't find me. She has never destroyed my kids' things because I keep most of their things in a room she knows she's not allowed to go in. And the things that get lovingly dragged around the house (like bear bear), Eos knows she'll pay dearly for if she mistreats them. I love my dog. But I have made sure she knows her place. And the things I can't totally control in her behavior, I compensate for.

When I got that text, I paced and ranted for a while. Then said, "I need to do something else" and we went out to water the garden.

Their dad claims that great grandma managed to sew bear bear up to M's satisfaction. I'm still worried.

He also said that, "the girls keep telling me about what their parents let them do..." and I have to admit that, however selfishly, I felt better when he said that. The girls know that Papa is not their dad. We've talked about Papa being to the Cub what Daddy is to them... that Daddy helped make my little girls and Papa helped make my boy. Of course, they know that Papa still loves them, cares for them, and wants the best for them just the same. But kids say things they don't understand the weight of sometimes.

I hope their dad handled that with grace. Sometimes it can be difficult to remember, when they say something that hurts us, that they're only 6 and 3 and didn't mean for their words to be so sharp. They don't understand that words can be weapons, and they are just as clumsy with them as they would be with a broadsword. They've said things that set me off before, too. Most of the time, I try to swallow my pride and take them for innocent, misplaced, misunderstood words. But I have not always been so careful.