If You Want Something Done Right...

If you want something done right, do it yourself; and by all means, don’t let your ex get his hands on it. As you may have read, our first week of lessons went swimmingly, and our second week happened to be the week their dad was planning to be in town. Now, after a week away from home, we’re starting over on things I thought we had figured out.

We’ve had to put lessons on hold so I can put my full attention and (limited) energy toward reteaching the household rules as well as personal responsibility and hygiene. The attitudes around here have become resistant and defiant enough that it has been difficult even to convince myself to TRY structured lessons. Not to mention, I certainly don’t want to further distract them from their potty responsibilities, since their attention to their bodily needs has become... lax.

It has only been one week since they returned from their visit, at this point. We have already made huge improvements. It was just very upsetting to me and to our routine to be put in this situation.

Additionally, the home school planner came back to me reflecting only two, half-hour lessons for each of my daughters for the entire week that they were away. While I recognize that their dad would probably like for his visits to be like vacations, I did inform him in advance that it wouldn’t be possible, considering the hours we need to squeeze in. It’s also not terribly difficult to teach them because they think it’s fun.

On the upside, I got divorce paperwork filled out, reviewed by a lawyer, printed, signed and notarized last week. Now I’m just waiting for a copy of our marriage license to be returned to me in the mail so I can file. Unfortunately, divorce only solves some of our problems. I’m also going to need to learn to make demands and get him to give our kids what they need (and I’m not even talking about college funds or cars).

This Book Doesn’t Work

Last November, I did my first black Friday, doorbusters shopping spree. I managed to avoid it, despite having children, for years and I was curious what all of those other people were raving (or ranting) about. I only went to Target. They had a great deal on a huge, flat-screen TV that I successfully bought for my partner.

I also bought Leapfrog toys. Specifically, I picked up two Tag pens and a Tag Junior pen and a few books to go with them. My mom also bought some books to go along with the bundle when she found out.

I loved the idea of my kids being able to explore stories with a pen to help them sound out the words. I imagined them learning to love the colorful and interesting stories written on pages, and I thought it might be a helpful back up for ultimately teaching them to read. But that’s not what happened.

Now, when people started complaining that Baby Einstein was failing to turn out smarter kids, I was one of the first to raise my hand and say, “maybe you’re doing it wrong.” After all, it seems ridiculous and counterproductive to me to sit your kid down with a DVD and expect great things to happen. Maybe it would work, mixed in with active parenting. I don’t know, though. I’ve never tried Baby Einstein with my kids and I certainly don’t know what all of the Baby Einstein parents were doing.

But I did buy this Leapfrog stuff, and now I’m thinking about taking it all away.

I’ve been turning the idea over in my head for a couple of months. Then, this week, my five-year-old came to me with a board book that was not compatible with the Tag system, “brown bear brown bear what do you see” and said, “this book doesn’t work.” That really made me think about what’s happening.

We read them a story almost every night (unless it’s especially late and they need to get to sleep asap), and sometimes in the middle of the day. We have classroom learning books called “Bob Books” that we help them read on their own. And, many times, when they want to know what something says, we help them sound it out instead of just telling them. But, recently, I’ve noticed that my strongest reader gives up when I say, “let’s find out”. She doesn’t want to know what that word says if it’s not going to be handed to her. And they certainly aren’t going to try to read a boring book if they can have one read to them.

I don’t like this attitude at all. My kids shouldn’t think that a book is broken because it doesn’t read itself. I know that parents want to get the new, popular toys for their kids, especially if it seems educational, but this one is unconvincing for me. Maybe I’m not doing it right.

When it comes to educational programming, we have DVDs of Signing Time and Sid the Science Kid. We watch Wild Kratts, and Nova. But it’s easy for me to watch with them (or watch over the bar while I’m cooking) at least enough to be able to talk about it and make sure they’re learning something. Maybe that’s the key for these reading pens, too. Maybe they need assistance and supervision and I shouldn’t have just given them the books and the pens to play with at their own leisure. But I did, and now I’m thinking I need to pack them up and remind my kids that books that don’t read themselves to you are wonderful.

Exciting News

We FINALLY got our ultrasound this morning. The girls were all excited to go see the baby, but almost totally lost interest after they saw what they wanted to see. My partner got a half-day off of work for it, so it was a room full of family.

Let me just get this out of the way: baby is healthy. All organs are normal, heart rate is perfect, growth is right on schedule... no complaints.

Also, it's a boy!

Boy and proud! This was the first thing he showed us.

He also has... substantial thighs like his daddy. In fact, based on his measurements, he's in the 78th percentile for his age.

And, to be clear, EVERYONE was excited. All three of my girls are excited to have a little brother and I've already been asked if they get to hold him "when he's out and healthy and... clean."

(not) Ultrasound

I had my intake appointment on the 14th, last Tuesday, at my new clinic. They sent various body fluids off to be tested, and we all got to listen to baby’s heartbeat. The nurse also explained that since I will be opting to have a C-Section (I have already had to have two, and don’t want to risk serious complications), and my due date is December 31st, they would normally want to schedule the surgery for 1 week in advance which would land me in the hospital for a couple of days starting on Christmas Eve. She reassured me that we could push it back a couple of days so I can be with my kids on Christmas. Poor Christmas baby.

The clinic scheduled my 20 week, detailed ultrasound for the 21st, which actually coincides with my 21st week of pregnancy. I know and accept that this is my fault, because I hesitated to start prenatal appointments, not wanting to figure out how to fit them into my still otherwise normal life. But when that day came around, my partner had taken the day off of work, we had gotten the kids up and breakfasted, we were all dressed, I had done my makeup and hair... and I got a call from the clinic.

They informed me that their ultrasound machine was down. This was fairly early in the morning, so I can only assume that whatever it was, it happened overnight. At that point, they said they were bringing in a specialist to have a look and try to fix it, but they weren’t sure how long that would take. They asked me to call back before I left the house for my appointment, to check on the progress.

They’re a small, comfortable clinic, so it’s not surprising that they apparently have only one machine. Also, I am thankful that they caught us before we walked out the door, even though the clinic is only 6 minutes away, by google’s estimate. It is considerate of them to call.

When I called back about an hour later, the repair tech had only been there for around 20 minutes and still didn’t know what the trouble was. This time, “I’ll call you back as soon as I know something.” is what she offered.

When she called, about 15 minutes before my scheduled appointment, she explained that the machine was still not functioning, and they would need to reschedule my appointment, “does Friday morning work for you?”

I hate to be one of those disgruntled clients who gets short with a representative on the phone who had nothing to do with the delay. Don’t shoot the messenger. But the first thing to cross my mind was, “my partner is going to have to get ANOTHER day off.” and the truth is I wasn’t sure that Friday WAS going to be okay, because I needed to discuss it with him first. Even then, we have to wait until he goes back to work to see if he can even have the time off. I’m sure all of that made me sound... exasperated. I know it wasn’t this nice lady’s fault.

But I rescheduled my appointment for Friday at 9:15 AM. My partner just confirmed that morning off. Hopefully things will be fully functional by then, and we’ll see what there is to see.

Introducing, My Homeschoolers

Click on the image to see a larger version

These are my homeschoolers. That’s S, on the left, C in the middle, and M on the right. S and C are five-years-old and are just starting a structured homeschool year. M is 2 and will be 3 soon. I make sure to keep worksheets and projects around for her, too. Wouldn’t want her to feel left out.

There is one huge advantage to having twins that has remained true for their entire lives thus far: They entertain each other. These days, that has allowed me some time to get my planner together, accumulate some worksheets, and do some research. But on the flip side of that is a problem.

They distract each other and rely on each other. When we’re doing lessons that involve me explaining anything for more than a minute, they find something funny in what I said and it can be hard to get them back on track. I’m sure other moms remember from their own childhood, how sleepovers got out of hand when it was time to go to sleep. If you have a friend laughing with you, it’s hard to stop. Then, if there’s a math problem or reading, S will wait for C to get the answer, and then jump on board with her, even when C is wrong, instead of working it out for herself. In that sense, it’s just like public school, except she’s not getting away with it for an entire school term and failing to learn anything for herself.

A couple of weeks ago, one of my kids asked why they’re not going to school. I explained (in so many words) that public schools often have 15, 20, maybe even 30 kids in a classroom with one teacher and that teacher has to keep up with all of those kids. The teacher’s job is to make sure that all of the kids understand each concept, and they’re limited to about 7 hours per day, and 4 or 5 days per week, so other kids are often working at the pace of those who are slower to grasp a lesson. And while I don’t expect to never have days or weeks or months when one of my kids is considerably behind another in a subject (even though they’re the same age), I do believe having only a few kids to look after, and having much more time available to me, allows me to make time to teach each one on her own level.

Yesterday, at Ikea, two different women directed this question at one of my five-year-olds, “are you in kindergarten?” The first time, the woman got a baffled look and a nervous smile, and I had to explain, “they’re homeschooled, and we just started, so they haven’t really figured out that not ‘GOING to school’ is still school.” The second time, my daughter proudly announced, “I’m homeschooled!” 

This post linked to iHomeschool's  *Not* back to homeschool blog hop

 

Curriculum

A page from our headstart agenda

I’m noticing the topic of conversation this week among homeschoolers has been curriculum. And since the conventional school year is about to begin (some schools here started this Wednesday), a hot topic is how to save money on your materials. For those of you who don’t homeschool but read this anyway, imagine back-to-school shopping, but include all of the stuff the school provides, too. Keep in mind, the state doesn’t consider us part of its budget, so we have to find our own resources like textbooks and chemistry sets.

My kids are young. We did some head-start work through spring and summer, and we’re starting our first full year of lessons this fall. So, textbooks aren’t a concern yet. Instead, we need workbooks, for which I can mostly find free, printable versions. And there is no strict curriculum, yet. We have lessons, but they’re usually dictated by what my kids are interested in learning that day, and are generally kept pretty short, so they don’t lose focus.

This year, I plan to cover the following topics:

Reading: We started on this in our head-start period. We will spend more time working on it this year, and we’ll probably be spending an increasing amount of time at the library. We have a lot of books, here. Really, I barely have space for them all. But I think exposure to the library is positive.

Writing: We also worked on this in the last several months, as you may have gathered from my last blog. They’re getting fairly good at it, but still require reference sheets to get each letter right and need practice. I also thing reading and writing go hand-in-hand and I would like for them to start writing words by the end of the term.

Basic Math: Some work has been done on this already. They’ve established the method of double-digit counting, and know the concepts of addition, subtraction, and multiplication. But, here again, practice. We use Khan Academy quite a bit, and I’m thinking about incorporating “bedtime math” to see if I can foster more interest. 
http://khanacademy.org
http://bedtimemathproblem.org/

Science: We will mostly be focusing on the visible, physical world. There are a lot of great resources for this, which is good because my kids’ interests are varied. I’m thinking we’ll have one structured and pre-planned science lesson per week, and anything else they feel like bringing up will be taken seriously and explored. This is a category we never seem to have a shortage of inspiration for. http://scienceforpreschoolers.com/

Culture: This year, I want to start talking about religion. We are not a religious family, but I want the kids to understand and appreciate religion, and be able to make their own (educated) decisions about it in the future. I’d also like to talk about the role of girls (since I have all daughters) throughout the world. And, since we’re here in America, we’ll talk about the history of our country and how it came to have the culture it does.

Sign Language: This one has been running its course for years, now. I started teaching them their alphabet with sign language so they could break up the “LMNOP” segment, visually. We’ve been using Signing Time, and I want to expand on this by taking some courses, myself. If I manage to go back to school part-time this year, it will probably be for this. http://www.signingtime.com/

Art: I’m not sure if this one counts. I don’t so much “teach” it. Mostly, I let them draw and color because, even if they don’t end up caring at all about art, and even if they can never draw anything more exciting than stick figures, it’s great practice for motor skills and not structured like writing practice. I consider it part of the curriculum because it needs devoted time, because it’s important. http://www.kiwicrates.com

Speech Therapy: One of the twins has a bit of a speech problem. I believe it's a tongue thrust problem, but we'll have to have it assessed. Then, I plan to work speech therapy into our structured time at home.

An important note: My homeschoolers are five-years-old. According to the state of Colorado, it is not required for them to enrolled in school at all for one more year. This means I don’t have to subject them to standardized testing yet. I also don’t have to take attendance, tabulate grades, or submit an official curriculum to a district school. http://www.cde.state.co.us/choice/homeschool_law.asp

However, since this is the year leading up to their official homeschooling, I’m trying to simulate (at least for myself) what this undertaking will eventually involve. I have a planner I printed and arranged for the coming months, that includes reading lists for each kid. I also have an attendance chart to keep track of our days and hours.

Colorado requires at least 172 days, averaging 4 hours of “educational contact” per day. Our current schedule will leave us short at 169 days, if we do nothing educational at all on the weekends. But I suppose you can imagine how likely that is. After all, weekends are our preferred field trip days.

I’m currently compiling a list of resources I use for our lessons, as well as free/cheap field trip (or just for fun) destinations for families in Denver. If you have any suggestions for either list, let me know. I can always use more information.

This post linked to iHomeschool's  *Not* back to homeschool blog hop

Pending Baby

I don't normally blog in the middle of the week, but this is not a homeschooling update, so I thought I would just share it as it becomes available.I seem to be gaining some readership that extends beyond my friends and family, so I suppose I should let you know what they’ve already heard: I’m pregnant.

As of August 14th, I’ve met the 20 week mark, and am halfway to the finish line with baby number 4. I had specifically planned to avoid having more kids... until I met my partner. He doesn’t have any of his own, but he has been instrumental (and amazing) in day-to-day ventures with mine. We found out my sister was pregnant and decided to try for our own, with the thought that close-in-age cousins would be a great idea for the family. Then, right as we were finding out we were pregnant, we found out that his sister-in-law was as well. It’s going to be one crazy winter.

The most satisfying part about this whole experience is a convenient combination of being right, and this finally going the way I always thought it should. My partner has been incredibly supportive and helpful and understanding. I knew him to be a reliable and strong person, but a pessimistic part of me really clung to the idea that he would change as soon as he thought he had me committed. He hasn’t at all. I’ve been sick, or tired or emotional. There have been cravings, cry sessions, and energy crashes at dinner time. He stands by me through it all and doesn’t make me feel guilty for feeling weird.

Baby at 10 weeks

At 10 weeks, I wound up in the ER over some severe abdominal pain. After a thorough ultrasound, we’re still not sure what caused it. What matters is it never came back, and we got a chance to check out the baby and make sure everything was fine. Since then, I’ve had some trouble dealing with my insurance (and my resistance to what I see as unnecessary medical appointments) so I’ve only recently begun having regular check ups. A thorough ultrasound will follow shortly, and I’ll let you know what we find out.

By the way, we decided on the names Ada Danelle (girl) or Elon Tiberius (Boy). First names are linked to the person for whom our baby will be named.

Since I’m coming clean about this, I should let you know a few other dirty details of my life.

Obviously, my partner is not the father of my previous children (the twins and their little sister). They, however, do share a father: My husband. Yes, I’m still married to the guy, despite continued efforts to be otherwise. He and I have been physically separated (living in different states 1,000 or more miles away from each other) for around 20 months, now. I’ve spent this entire time trying to get a divorce, starting, of course, with the most basic, “I’m done and I want a divorce”. But it has been a nasty battle.

I’m not going to air the details of this experience to the entire internet, but I’m sure many of the divorcees out there have at least some idea what this feels like. It has actually been incredibly difficult not to explode to all of my friends on Facebook, on the more difficult days. I have managed to find a few to confide in, but mostly it stays between me and my mom. However, I will say that since I’ve rebooted my own life, I feel free, productive, beautiful, fresh, and desirable in ways I haven’t experienced in years. I’m a whole new person, and I feel big enough to face fears and insecurities I harbored and let grow as his wife.

Staying Positive

For reference if you aren't familiar with practice paper.

This is a difficult one for me. It’s fairly easy to stay positive when explaining things to the kids, but not as simple to stay positive in my head when things aren’t going right. I think that’s okay, as long as you don’t get stuck on that track.

This week, during writing practice, one of my daughters drew an ‘e’. It was very well structured for a five-year-old’s hand writing. It was even the right size. The problem was that it floated on the dotted line on her practice paper, instead of spanning the space between the dotted line and the bottom line.

She panicked. “I messed it up!”, she said. I looked at it and noticed how upset she was. So I pointed out that it was actually a really great ‘e’, and that’s a pretty difficult letter to draw, since it has a round part and straight line all in one. She did a good job. “it just belongs down here”. And, “you know what? It’s not a problem. You have lots of paper, and you have an eraser. You can choose to erase and start over, or leave it there and make a new one. There’s plenty of space.”

Attitude adjusted, she chose to erase the offending letter and try again. And she got it right the second time. Also a significant note: she was noticeably more pleased with that second ‘e’ than she was with getting any other letter right on the first try.

But, earlier that same day, I found myself in a funk during nap time. My five-year-olds don’t want to take naps anymore, and they probably don’t really NEED them anymore (except on days when we’re particularly active). But my two-year-old needs a nap every day. They share a room, and I don’t have enough space to let the five-year-olds stay up where they won’t keep the younger one awake. But their presence in the bedroom, while not sleeping, keeps the two-year-old awake anyway. For the last week, we’ve been having particularly persistent problems, and I can’t seem to devise a solution.

They get multiple timeouts every day as a result of this problem. It’s really the only thing they get timeouts for anymore. After a couple of sessions of that, I get frustrated. So I’ve tried lots of different theories on them; most of which worked for a week or so before they lose power somehow.

Since my whole world is centered around my children (stay-at-home-mom/homeschooler), these things are especially discouraging. So, when they persist for several days, I feel disappointed in myself for not being able to work it out.

Maybe this is just a little biased, since I clearly don’t want to be broken or wrong, but I don’t think there’s anything unusual about that. In fact, I think it is part of what makes me good at what I do. It upsets me to be unable to fix a problem, so I devote a lot of time and thought to finding a solution, and I try a lot of different methods before I give up. But, there will be failures. So, when failure gets me down, I try to remind myself that it is a side effect of caring so much about my kids and my parenting.

I’ve been steeped in the fallout of disappointments this week, more than usual. I have a feeling I’m not the only parent who ever feels this way. So, hopefully sharing how I cope with it might help someone else remember what a wonderful mom or dad they are. I’m no psychologist, but I think it’s okay to feel that way, as long as it’s only temporary.

Saving Money on Field Trips

I'm back in the blog game, now that the kids are back from vacation and settled in at home again. This week, I've been thinking about saving money. With all of the traveling that has gone on in the last couple of months, we're on a tight budget while we catch up. So I'll share with you how we manage to keep things rolling for the kids while we grown-ups are watching the numbers.

Last weekend, I took my three kids to the zoo. I was not the lone grown-up, of course; I had my partner, David. We all go to the zoo a lot. We've been about five times so far this year, and we've only spent about five and a half months of this year in Colorado.

There are a couple of obvious reasons we like to spend so much time at the zoo:

1. The kids love it. My five-year-olds are very excited about watching animals and asking questions, two things the zoo is perfect for. "Do snakes go fast?" "How long can an elephant stay under water?" And when I can't answer them, I can usually find a keeper who can. Which leads me to... 
2. It's incredibly educational. I can show them videos on the internet of elephants swimming all day, but that doesn't compare to seeing one roll over into the water right in front of them. They really don't seem to completely understand that the videos I show them on my computer are of things that actually happened.

There are other benefits like spending some time in the sun and fresh air, getting some exercise, and wearing them out so they'll fall asleep the moment the bedroom door closes. Last weekend, we even got maps for the five-year-olds and let them show us how to get from one place to another.

Taking your kids to the zoo regularly can be expensive, though. Admission prices, food and drinks alone are enough to make your head spin. The first step to making this work for you is to remember that a lot of what you're spending at the zoo is going toward taking care of the animals and improving the park itself. A lot of the zoo staff are probably volunteers. But that doesn't ease the stress on your wallet. Here's how we do that:

1. We're members of the zoo. That paid for itself the next time we went through the gates. We no longer have to pay admissions, and we get discounts on zoo fare. We get about 10% off on food at the various venues. That's not bad, but the food is still over-priced by the standards of the outside world. This time, we spent $30 (after our discount) on 4 small scoops of ice cream, a large soda (my partner and I shared for the rest of the zoo trip) and a smallish serving of Asian noodles. I say small(ish) because they do not match the size you would expect to get if you ordered "a scoop" of ice cream or "a bowl" of noodles in the city.
2. Also, you can often find coupons online specifically for things to do with your kids. Of course you can sign up for Groupon or other discount-offering services. They often have great deals on the kinds of things you'll probably only be able to do once in a while. For instance, that's how I got my family a huge discount on a trail ride coming up this fall. Otherwise, just try googling "things to do with kids in (your city) coupons" or something similar. Here's the page I check before taking the kids out here in Denver:  http://www.denverkids.com/ 
3.  We bring food and water. I baked croissants and made meat and cheese sandwiches with them before we left. We also bring one reusable water bottle per person, and refill them at water fountains. Thus, we dodge buying bottled water and lunch. That frees up some spending money for that ice cream, later.
   
4. We make a commitment to ignore the gift shop entirely. We go to the zoo a lot. We bought them each a souvenir once. They don't need one every time we go. Besides, you should see how many toys they have already. Also, gift shops are so expensive... and there's nothing in there you need.

An additional idea to save you some cash: don't pay for parking if you can avoid it. The Denver zoo doesn't have paid parking. Even when the free parking immediately in front of the entrance is full, there is free parking available at the science museum which is in the same park.  The Honolulu zoo had paid parking lots nearest the gate, but you could find free street parking a block or two away. As far as I can tell, unless you're in a hurry to get to a specific event, you can probably find free parking you can walk from. After all, you're going to be walking around the zoo all day anyway, what's a little more? And who wants to feed the meter and then spend the whole day concerned about time running out?

Obviously, we aren't cutting all of the corners we could. We did buy ice cream. But two adults and three children spending 5 or 6 hours at the zoo only cost us $40-$50 if you count putting gas in the car right after we left the house. It could have been a lot more.

I don't know what your zoo's policies on outside food or membership discounts are. You might benefit more or less from the things we do. Either way, you benifit from knowing, so ask. You can call, stop by, or go to your zoo's website. They seem to all have publicly available information about these things.

If you're homeschooling, you want to have as many resources in your back pocket as you can, and finding money saving opportunities is key. These tips don't just apply to the zoo. Check out botanical gardens, museums, butterfly houses, and whatever else your city has to offer. If you manage to save enough money to go out just one extra time this year, you win.

A Post About Not Posting

I don't have anything substantial to post this week, but I wanted to be sure you didn't think I forgot about you. Tomorrow, I'm taking my three kids to visit my mom and my sister in Texas for six weeks. The road trip will take all weekend, and I will fly back home to clean, craft, cook, and have some time to myself.

It has been pretty difficult to keep up with the messes left behind my my crew, and I haven't had any time to myself. So this will be a vacation for me. I'm very thankful to my mom and sister, and they're excited to spend some of the summer with them, taking them to the zoo and such. The kids are all excited, too. Some days, they can't contain it.

Kudos To Stay At Homers

I've been a stay at home mom for over five years. That number rolls over to six whole years if you count all the way back to when I had to quit my job halfway through my pregnancy with the twins because my doctor put me on bed rest. Most moms in my position will tell you that this is absolutely not "just not working". It's difficult and time consuming. You can't call in sick, and you rarely get 15 minute breaks, let alone vacation days. You end up more than a little stir crazy if you're not careful. I have, admittedly, tried to quit this job. Twice, actually.

I don't mean I tried to quit being a parent. Instead, I simply tried to go back to work. I got a job at a gas station when my twins were only a few months old. There were many reasons that didn't work out. The twins were premature and colicky and I simply couldn't leave my mom home with them whenever I was working. I also couldn't afford a real babysitter on what I was making at that gas station, and the job was awful anyway. I would have quickly found myself unable to stay up through the night with the babies and then go to work during the day.

More recently, I was employed by the best funeral company in the Denver area. I was referred to as a "family services representative", which is a fancy way of saying I was a receptionist with A LOT of other responsibilities. They barely trained me and I had to learn my job as I went. I worked nights and weekends and made only as much per hour as I was paying a babysitter. I was lucky to find a job that paid even that much, considering I had been an unemployed mother for years.

I thought it would be fine, because my oldest kids (the twins) were 5 and well behaved and intelligent with no known medical problems. Additionally, I had friends who could watch them for free when they were off work, so my babysitting wasn't eating my entire paycheck. 

But I wound up getting fired for being "forgetful". Now, I've never been told that before, at least not without specific reference to being forgetful at a particular moment. I'm convinced I lost that job because I didn't really know what my responsibilities were. But I didn't do much pleading to save my employment because I was miserable there. 

I don't want to be a stay at home mom for the rest of their childhood. I want my kids to see a woman with a career and ambition.They need a role model. Besides, if I'm being honest, being at home with the kids, as the only adult in the house, is pretty mind-numbing. I love teaching them and exploring with them, I hate defusing every fight and correcting every mistake and finding socks covered in dust bunnies under the couch.

If you're a stay at home parent, I'm proud of you. Even if you have a job, if you spend your time at home engaged and interested in your children an taking care of their needs, you're a hero. And if you're a single parent still able to love and care for your child, bravo! It's difficult, and if you can't think of something you really dislike about being a parent, you're in denial. But if you're doing your best, you're doing some good.

Beautiful Butterflies

It is technically my twins' first year of school. I've started semi-structured lessons, but they don't have to be registered with the state as home schoolers until august of next year. My (very loosely) categorized, dry-erase chart of lessons lists math, reading, writing, science, sign language, art, and culture. I also have a weekly planner in which I make notes of the specific topics we cover. 

Last week, we did 12 lessons. Some of them were fairly pedestrian, like reading practice, addition and subtraction, and writing letters and numbers. But in other cases, they certainly blazed their own trail. We talked about reflexes and the difference between voluntary and involuntary movements, then had a breakfast lesson about the causes, physiology, and symptoms of cerebral palsy. They were curious.

This week, they asked me about where butterflies come from. We discussed the butterfly life cycle, cocoons and chrysalises, and watched a video of a caterpillar exposing its chrysalis. Then, this weekend, we took a field trip to the butterfly pavilion and they got to see what many different butterfly chrysalises look like, and saw butterflies coming out of them. They remembered so many facts about it, and even learned a bit more about how butterflies eat. 

This, to me, is one of the beautiful things about homeschooling. They learn such a wide variety of new things because they're curious. I could dictate their education by scheduling what we will practice or discuss and when, but when they ask me questions and I answer, they're far more likely to remember what they learned. And I can offer them an incredible array of relevant field trips to help solidify the lessons.

My Homeschooling Training Wheels

Before I begin, this isn't about convincing everyone to choose to educate their children at home. It's about sharing my story, which might be your story, too. And it might just help you make the right decision for you and your family.


I really fought the idea of homeschooling my kids. I thought a lot of pretty typical things like, "public school was good enough for me." and "I don't know everything, how can I teach them all they need to know?" and "I don't want to deprive them of the social aspect of public school." Then there's the one most parents won't admit, publicly: "I can't wait to have that eight hours to myself!"


Now, my twins are five-years-old and I'm homeschooling them through their first year of "structured" learning. What happened?


Now that my first born kids are old enough to start school, I had to reevaluate those things I told myself, and it was scary. 


Was public school really good enough for me? Is it good enough for anyone anymore? Maybe it is, for some people. But it wasn't for me. And it's not a matter of smarter or better behaved or otherwise better prepared kids doing better (or worse) in public schools. Kids, and really all people, have different methods of learning, not all of which are met when a teacher has to constantly tend to 15 or 20 students. 


I got an education, and I graduated on time, and I was told how smart I was, but I wasn't interested in my lessons, I did as little as I could to get by, and the few things I was deeply interested in learning weren't offered at my school. Now that I'm openly talking with other adults, post-high school, I'm learning that I'm not nearly the only one who has these complaints. 


No, I DON'T know everything. That much is absolutely true. What I know is pretty limited. Of course I know a lot about what I care about. I try to keep up with psychology, and I can impress you with all of my knowledge if you take me to the zoo (I loved zoology and botany in school). But I'm only average at best in the field of math and when it comes to history, thank goodness for Wikipedia. 


Which brings me to my epiphany: I don't KNOW everything, but I have access to it. I have the internet and the library and my college text books. I also have the willingness to answer my kids' questions with, "I don't know, but let's find out!"


The most bizarre realization was that I do, in fact, want to deprive my kids of the social aspect of public school. I don't want to deny them the ability to make and spend time with friends. But that should not get in the way of a good education, and, in my experience, social issues destroy the educational scene in public schools for almost every student at one point or another (or many points). Honestly, the twins already have each other for distractions, and that's difficult enough.


As far as wanting that eight hours to myself... I can't answer for that. I still want that, and I know I won't get it this way. But nothing good in life is free. We barter our time for money at our jobs, and our money for food at the store, and as our Dalai Lama said, you should, “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.” I'm not going to get everything I want. My children's education is more important to me than eight free hours a day to take more college classes, get a new job, or just bake a lot. My prerogative is to produce adults who are prepared for the world and ready to start a life and be successful, by their own definitions.


Here we go!